life between the pages

“I spent my life folded between the pages of books.
In the absence of human relationships I formed bonds with paper characters. I lived love and loss through stories threaded in history; I experienced adolescence by association. My world is one interwoven web of words, stringing limb to limb, bone to sinew, thoughts and images all together. I am a being comprised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed through fiction.”
Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me
Showing posts with label the good life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the good life. Show all posts

Sunday, January 05, 2025

Book Review: Poet’s Square: A Memoir in Thirty Cats

Cats as praxis. Because of course.

About 3/4 of the way thru this, I realized that while the author may not realize it, her story is anarchy at work, and shows why this is the only way anything meaningful has ever been accomplished. With practical hard work and attention to doing what she could, every single day, the author built a beautiful new life for herself amidst responding to the needs she saw all around her. In it she encountered a whole new world that she never knew existed, and made a real difference in her community.

A beautiful story and absolutely not what I expected. Much love and May the cats be with you 🥰

Many thanks to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Book Review: Potager, by Georgeanne Brennan

PotagerPotager by Georgeanne Brennan


A gloriously lovely book, full of recipes and ideas, illustrated with lush photographs of provincial gardens and simply prepared foods. Will keep it handy in the kitchen for inspiration when not feeling excited about the cooking ;)

View all my reviews

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Sweet, Sweet Sunday

Sunday is a day of rest, goes the old adage, and I do subscribe to it. But today I'm making jam with plums my aunt, uncle, cousin, and I picked last Sunday afternoon from the ancient tree in my yard. I also hung out a load of laundry earlier, a ritual I crave for its simplicity and tactile pleasure.

It isn't work if you love it and it relaxes, reaffirms you. No, I truly believe it's part of the dance of the good life.







Together we picked 25 pounds of fruit last weekend. My aunt usually makes a simple jam based on an old USDA recipe. The wonderful thing about fresh-picked damsons is, in spite of the fact that they are a clingstone fruit, there is usually very little waste. From the entire batch I only found three plums I had to discard due to blemishes or rot. They are sturdy and simple to clean; the stems usually pop right off without tugging.


Here's my recipe for the jam, or rather preserves since I don't grind up all the pulp and fruit skin in a blender and it uses less sugar. I like the texture of the simple combination of fruit in its own rich nectar, and the slow simmering preserves the most flavour:

Damson Plum Preserves

10 lbs fresh plums, washed & picked
3 c water
6 c organic cane sugar

Place plums and water in large dutch oven, cover, and heat slowly at medium temperature, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking. When the mixture boils, set timer for 30 minutes. Keep covered and reduce heat to medium-low, stirring occasionally. Stir with wooden spoon and press lightly to encourage splitting of the pulp, which will make the pits easier to remove later. Reduce heat if necessary to keep from boiling over, and continue simmering for an additional 20 minutes.


When the mixture has cooked thoroughly for at least an hour, pulp has absorbed the dark red coloring of the mixture and the liquid has reduced slightly, turn off and set aside half-covered for about an hour until it is cool enough to touch. Stir lightly and pour mixture through a sieve into a large plastic or glass bowl, pressing to get as much pulp as possible to separate from the pits. Stir and return to dutch oven; set mixture aside.




Working over a second clean bowl, carefully remove pits from the remainder of the mixture in the sieve and discard them. When the remainder has been picked clean of pits, return it to the rest of the mixture and combine with sugar. Stir thoroughly.

Place mixture back in heavy saucepan or dutch oven, cover, and heat slowly to boiling a second time. Be careful not to heat too quickly or scorching can occur. Cook carefully over medium- to medium-low temperature until mixture reaches 220 degrees. This may take an hour, more or less. Boil for ten minutes until jell stage is reached. Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly, checking for thickening.

Pour into hot, clean jars, seal, and process in water bath canner for 10 minutes. Alternately, I am told you can skip the processing if your jars have been boiled and sterilized. A friend does it this way:
... when I do jelly and jam I try to take the jars out of hot water or dishwasher and fill with boiling jam. Then put on lids and invert on counter for five minutes and then turn right side up and wait for ping. I don't use a canner for jelly or jam as the product is hot and sterile, the jar is hot and sterile, and the lids are hot and sterile and they seal nicely. Never lost a jar this way, only in pressure canner.
While the jam is cooling, go check the laundry. Stretch your arms up high. Breathe in the goodness.

Images and content copyright (c) 2015 Susannah Eanes. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

How Far We've Come, To Fall So Far

There is simply no excuse for the fact that well into middle age, with advanced degrees, a respectable middle-class income, and a credit history over 20 years long, that my husband and I are still patently unable to purchase a house, and each month we struggle to meet the bills for basic needs such as food, fuel, shelter, clothing, and education.

Consider this: My parents, who were young professionals with no credit background to speak of and a two-year old, on October 16, 1963 purchased the home that my mother still lives in. At the time they were both teaching school, with advanced degrees and a respectable middle class income. This home was about five years old and cost $17,000.00 (slightly less than the average price of a new home in the US at the time as recorded by the US Census), and was paid off at the tidy sum of $103.00 per month, principal and interest, well before the time of my father's death in 1988. The property is valued at around $125,000 today; it is a 2/3-acre lot with a 4 BR/1.5 bath home in excellent condition and still located in a respectable neighborhood. My mother also has excellent health insurance and pension benefits and will never have to worry about how she will pay for basic needs such as food, shelter, clothing, eyeglasses, and medical care. She never has and she never will. She's a classic example of someone who worked hard, paid her bills and was able to put something away each month for the future. She pays cash for a brand new vehicle about once every eight years or so because she has an abhorrence of paying interest that can not be deducted from one's tax bill. She has lived a tidy, respectable life, and has earned her comfortable retirement.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics has this handy-dandy little table that details teachers' salaries for the period 1959-2006, with comparable 2006 constant dollars that make it simple to see these salaries' equivalents in 2006 dollars. You will see, for instance, that though my parents jointly earned about $12,000 (my mother taught elementary and my father taught high school), the equivalent salary in 2006 dollars was about $80,000. This was because the cost of housing, fuel, automobiles, education, groceries, clothing, etc. - i.e., the cost of living - was considerably lower then than today.

It's quite shocking, in fact, to look over the chart and see how the value of middle-class salaries fell into the toilet during the ensuing years.

To be perfectly sure we're comparing apples to apples, my mother & father paid about $900 annually for taxes, insurance, and social security, making their effective joint disposable income about $11,100 (including obligations of 3.625% for FICA/SSec, 22.6% less exemptions & deductions for federal taxes, and 2% for Virginia state income tax). Their employers actually contributed to Virginia's retirement system and paid for their health insurance. Employees did not have to contribute at all until shortly before my mother retired in the 1990s. A pension and health insurance were considered part of one's compensation package - those were the days! However, during this period, all of the amounts deducted for FICA and Social Security came from an employee's paycheck; employers did not contribute to those programs at that time. There is a nice table at the Social Security administration's website that details federally mandated deductions for taxes and FICA starting in 1937. Historic federal tax rates are here, and you can peruse the actual 1040 and 1040a forms and instructions used to file back in 1963 at the IRS website. Historical state tax rates are contained within tables in this report.

So - let's compare: my husband and I just happen to jointly earn about $80,000 annually as professionals working in the non-profit and government sectors, from which about $20,000 is deducted in order to pay for medical insurance, withdrawals for retirement and deferred compensation of which our employers pay minuscule matches of less than 15%, and taxes, effectively making our joint disposable income in the neighborhood of $60,000. (Bankrate has a nice calculator to help you determine if adjusting payroll deductions might be a good idea in case you'd like to compare your own).

The problem begins to become apparent.

Take a look at my parents' joint disposable income of $11,100.00 in 1963 transferred to today's dollars in this handy-dandy little table:

[Note: Current data from this source is only available till 2012.] In 2012, the relative worth of $11,100.00 US from 1963 is:

  • $83,200.00 using the Consumer Price Index
  • $64,300.00 using the GDP deflator
  • $93,500.00 using the value of consumer bundle
  • $90,500.00 using the unskilled wage
  • $106,000.00 using the Production Worker Compensation
  • $170,000.00 using the nominal GDP per capita
  • $282,000.00 using the relative share of GDP
  • Put another way, if you want to compare the value of $11,100.00 worth of disposable income in 1963 with what it's worth in 2012 the relative:
    ...historic standard of living value of that income or wealth is $83,200.00
    ...contemporary standard of living value of that income or wealth is $93,500.00
    ...economic status value of that income or wealth is $170,000.00
    ...economic power value of that income or wealth is $282,000.00
    By any measure, our parents were wealthier by far than we can even hope to be, given today's economic realities. Thank you, banks, insurance companies, corporate welfare queens, and politicians. You've made it such a pleasure to be living and working today, working just as hard but making a fraction of what our parents did. Good show.

    See also US Census Historical Income Tables

    Measuring Worth

    1963 Enterprise Statistics

    Taxfoundation.org

    Bankrate.com

    SSA.GOV

    IRS.GOV

    University of North Texas Library

    ~

    Thursday, June 20, 2013

    Review: Garden Styles by Kathleen S Dickason

    Garden StylesGarden Styles by Kathleen S Dickason
    My rating: 5 of 5 stars

    Beautifully illustrated book with many creative ideas, this is more than just a book with which to relax and dream about your next garden project. It's a definitive guide to choosing plants and arranging them for viability in your landscape. Contains reference tables on hundreds of landscape plants with complete descriptions and suggestions for using them to their best advantage. Profuse colorful illustrations of many types of gardens show the range of selected plants during all stages of growth, from young gardens through established mature ones. One of my favorite garden reference and inspiration books.

    View all my reviews

    Sunday, May 15, 2011

    Pie oh Pie oh PIE

    On Friday I had a craving for Lendy's Strawberry Pie that just wouldn't quit.  I found a great recipe for this delectable marvel on SouthernPlate.com - see?  Clicky here for Fresh Strawberry Pie!

    Yeah.  Oh man.

    Stirring the jello, sugar, and water as it heats on the stove.  Why yes, it is fuschia.


    So I made some.  You can follow the recipe at the link; here are some pics of how mine went.

    I made Christy's easy-peasy Mix in the Pan piecrust which means now that I've discovered this, I'll never buy another frozen pie crust again.  Sheesh how easy and PERFECT.  \0/\0/\0/
    I like to slice my strawberries into pieces about 1/4" thick or so to let the juices out.





    The syrup gets redder and eventually turns translucent.
    Easy-Peasy Pie Crust!
    ...and Berries...
    ... add Syrup Mixture ...
    My son isn't a fan of whipped cream, so instead I made a creamy delicious topping that's actually good for you out of yogurt and ricotta cheese (recipe below).
    PIE!
    Seriously.  Nothing better!

    Okay, now the recipe for my alternate topping, so named because the taste almost reminds me of cheesecake:

    Easy-Peasy Not!Cheesecake Topping

    1 c plain yogurt, drained
    1 c confectioner’s sugar
    1 c ricotta cheese
    1/4 tsp (dash) cream of tartar


    Blend together with a whisk or hand beater until soft peaks form.  Spoon onto cooled pie.  Chill for 2 hours until set.  Also great on chunks of melon, ambrosia, blueberries, or other chilled summer fruit dishes.

    Saturday, May 07, 2011

    barefoot on the earth


    Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. --Desiderata


    "It all seemed to good to be true.  Hither and thither he rambled busily, along the hedgerows, among the copses, finding everywhere birds building, flowers budding, leaves thrusting --everything happy, progressive, and occupied. ...He thought his happiness was complete..."  --Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows

    In Romancing the Ordinary, Sarah ban Breathnach reminds us of the spiritual connection that may be made in the simple act of removing one's shoes and walking about with our feet "'in touch' with the sacred."  It shames me to admit I worry when my children run about barefoot because I worry too much about cuts and scrapes.  Naturally they ignore me; I'm glad, for as much as I adore shoes, I prefer the feel of my toes on the bare hardwood floors of my home and the coolness of the grass beneath them as I'm hanging out the laundry.

    We never touch but at points.  --Emerson 

    Physical touch literally reconnects us with what matters.  When we are feeling scattered and stretched too thin, finding something tactile beneath our feet is calming and helps us to find our ground, so to speak.  Remove your shoes and whether inside or out, and walk about your Universe, so that your soul learns not to fear its weakness, by grasping the strength to be found in the Sphere:  small, humble, silent affirmations that touch you.

    Saturday, April 16, 2011

    Virtual Scrapbooking



    I'm having way too much fun making Treasuries on Etsy and Favorite Looks at ShopStyle. Basically it's like cutting out pictures from magazines and pinning them to your wall, or working simple puzzles. I use this sort of mindless creativity to discover what appeals to me visually and to get my mind off of things I can't do anything about. Hey, it's satisfying, it's pretty, and way more fun than Minesweeper.

    My Latest Collages:
    The Wisdom of Ratty and Moley

      



    in the cool, cool of evening
    Butter London, Banana Republic, Lagos, philosophy
    silk and pearls and quicksand roses... satin softness on your skin


    Collage is an ages-old art form that my sister & I recently have become interested in. Creative websites, blogs and newsletters we've been enjoying that really get your imagination off to a great start include Everyday Beautiful, Country Living, kaboodle, and Cloth Paper Scissors. The whole point of this is to get our creative juices rolling along a path that will not only be personally satisfying, but hopefully productive. We'd like to know what people are interested in and doing in order to mesh the things we'll eventually produce with them. Playing with color, design, and assembly in a virtual palette folds into the little projects I've been designing at home. By experimenting on the web, I get a feel for what I like without getting sticky with the glue gun or having to sweep up paper cuttings when I'm done. Of course, that will all come - but I really feel like I'm moving more quickly toward the type of creative outlet I'll be most productive doing, without a lot of fits and starts, feeling my way in the dark at home.

    The wonderful motivational writer Sarah ban Breathnach must be created with initially guiding me toward collage as a way to prime the pump and mine the depths of my creative thought processes. Her method of finding one's authentic inner voice by way of daily work with the "Illustrated Discovery Journal" is a very valuable technique not only for a personal creative outlet, but for focusing self-knowledge and understanding personal motivations and interests. I appreciate her whole-hearted abandon and since I don't want to make too much of a mess while merrily tossing ideas around, I've combined the physical form of journaling with virtual brainstorming, and have been very happy with the results.

    Tuesday, April 12, 2011

    Comfort Food

    Chardin, Grace Before a Meal
    Looks like more rain is heading this way; the view outside is dank and drippy.  True to form I want to head to the kitchen to put something together that tastes good, is easy to prepare, and brings a satisfied warmth to the bellies in my house.

    Here are a few of our favorites.

    Bubble & Squeak
    `Now, cheer up, Toad,' she said, coaxingly, on entering, `and sit up and dry your eyes and be a sensible animal. And do try and eat a bit of dinner. See, I've brought you some of mine, hot from the oven!'    

    It was bubble-and-squeak, between two plates, and its fragrance filled the narrow cell. ..and Toad, between his sobs, sniffed and reflected, and gradually began to think new and inspiring thoughts: of chivalry, and poetry, and deeds still to be done; of broad meadows, and cattle browsing in them, raked by sun and wind; of kitchen-gardens, and straight herb-borders, and warm snap-dragon beset by bees; and of the comforting clink of dishes set down on the table at Toad Hall...   


    Bubble and Squeak has a somewhat negligible reputation amongst foodies, which must be due to the fact that traditionally it was made up of leftover mashed potatoes and old cabbage boiled down in a pot to muculent ignominy.  We've made our version of delectably seasoned Virginia pork sausage, fresh cabbage, and new potatoes.  Quite the rainy day fare!

    Take half a head of fresh green cabbage, wash thoroughly, and slice into 1/2" thick sections, chopping these in half again, and set aside in a bowl into which you've poured about 1 c. ice-cold water.  Wash and cube about 4 medium russet potatoes, leaving skins on, into pieces 3/4" - 1" in diameter.  Brown 1 lb. local sausage (Valleydale, Weinberg's, Neese's are all good choices, depending upon where you live) in a large skillet until down, lift out and let drain; pour off most of the sausage grease from pan, leaving crisp drippings.  Place the cubed potatoes in the skillet with 1 tbsp. unsalted butter and 1/4 c. water, cover and cook over medium low heat 15 minutes.  Add sausage and cabbage, layering over potatoes, cover again and steam about 10 more minutes just until cabbage is lightly done.  With spatula, lift and turn over the mixture to blend, cover tightly and remove from heat and let sit about 10 more minutes.  Serve with piping hot biscuits and butter or cornbread.  So good.


    Shrimp & Grits
    Nathalie Dupree, Charleston chef and former SC Senatorial candidate, has written an entire cookbook on this delectable concoctionBeing from Virginia, I'd never heard of it until I moved to South Carolina.  After my first bite I honestly wondered how I'd actually lived up to that point.  Never fails to lift my spirits, no matter how bummed I may be or how difficult the day has been.  Pure heaven defined in a china bowl.  Serve with green salad and hot tea.

    Cook grits according to package directions using milk instead of water for a creamy consistency (Generally, measure 1-1/4 c. grits to about 4 c. milk, heat slowly on medium-low heat, add 1 tbsp. butter and 1 tsp. salt, stirring often until mixture is thoroughly cooked and thickened but not lumpy.  Keep covered.  Takes about 20-25 minutes). 
    While grits are cooking, brown 3 - 4 slices fresh bacon on both sides, remove, drain, crumble, set aside, reserving pan drippings.  Add a bit of olive oil if necessary to make about 1/3 c. total in pan.  Wash, peel, de-vein about 1-1/4 lb. fresh medium-sized shrimp and remove tails.  Place shrimp in pan on medium heat, turning quickly but gently with spatula as the shrimp heat thoroughly, and as they are finishing, replace crumbled bacon in pan and lower heat.  Add a splash of white wine or apple juice, 1 tbsp fresh chives, 1 clove fresh minced garlic, fresh ground black pepper, dash tabasco or other flavorful hot pepper sauce to taste.  Cover and remove from heat, let this mixture sit for about 3-5 minutes so that the flavors continue to meld.  Serve up grits in large round cream soup dish with shrimp mixture ladled over the top.  Serves 4-5 admirably.


    Bean & Bacon Soup

    A childhood favorite.  Great with a grilled cheese sandwich and a nice dill pickle or two.  Using freshly dried herbs gives this a monumental flavor that will bring them back for second helpings every time.

    1 lb. pkg. Navy or Great Northern Beans, washed & drained
    1/2 lb. smoky sliced bacon strips, cooked according to package
    2-3 medium carrots, peeled & chopped
    1 small white or yellow onion, minced and cooked in bacon drippings until clear, drain and set aside
    1 8 oz. can tomato paste
    6-8 c. water
    2 cloves garlic, peeled & minced
    1/2 tsp ground sage
    1/2 tsp ground thyme
    1 tsp snipped rosemary
    dash turmeric, ground black pepper, salt to taste

    Cook beans according to package directions in large soup pot or dutch oven until tender.  Add cooked bacon, crumbled, along with about 2 tbsp pan drippings from bacon, and mix thoroughly to distribute.  Add carrots, cooked onion, tomato paste, water to desired consistency, and seasonings.  Cover and cook thoroughly on medium-low heat for about an hour.  Serves 10-12.

    Monday, March 28, 2011

    Comfort on a Rainy Evening

    It may be cold and wet outside, but one way to warm up is with a spot o' tea and these amazing muffins.  If the name doesn't bring a smile to your face, wait 'til their spicy goodness melts on your tongue.  Enjoy them guilt-free 'cause there's nothing but goodness inside!

    Yield:  18, and they freeze well.

    Sunshine Muffins


    2 eggs
    3/4 c. vegetable oil
    1/3 c. milk
    1 tbsp. plain yogurt
    2 tsp. vanilla
    2 tbsp. molasses
    2 c. unbleached all-purpose flour
    1 c. organic cane sugar

    2 tsp. baking soda
    1/2 tsp. salt
    1/4 tsp. ground cardamom
    2 tsp. ground cinnamon
    1/4 tsp. nutmeg
    1/4 tsp. ground cloves
    1 1/2 c. shredded carrots (2-3 medium)
    1 c. shredded apple (Rome or McIntosh are best - use 1 large or 2 small.  Alternately use 1 red and 1 Granny Smith apple for a nice alteration.)
    1/2 c. shredded or flaked coconut
    1/2 c. raisins, dried currants, or other dried fruit of your choice
    1/3 c. sunflower seeds

    Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees F.  Place paper baking cups in 18 regular sized muffin cups, or alternately grease with shortening or cooking spray.
    In large bowl, beat together eggs, oil, milk, yogurt, molasses, and vanilla with wire whisk until well blended.  Sift together flour, baking soda, salt; add to mixture and blend.  Add sugar and all spices, stir together with wooden spoon until just blended.  Set aside.

    Grate carrots and apple, mix in separate bowl with coconut, dried fruit and sunflower seeds.  Add fruit & nut mixture to large bowl and blend all ingredients well until combined.

    Spoon by 1/4-cup measure into muffin cups.  Bake @ 350 for 20 - 22 minutes.  Serve hot with butter, honey, or molasses and a nice pot of Chai tea.


    Adapted from "Glorious Morning Muffins" courtesy Gold Medal Flour.

    Sunday, January 09, 2011

    Warm and Savory

    No matter how you spend the months of winter, curled up by a warm fire with a book or engaged in brisk outside activities, it's hard to beat the universal appeal of homemade soup.  It's easy and so satisfying.  Feel free to experiment with whatever ingredients you have on hand; there are no hard and fast rules for soup and it's one of the best ways to use up leftover vegetables, rice, pasta, and roasted meats.

    Winter Bean Soup
    3 c. cold water
    1 16-oz. package dried white beans or navy beans
    1 med. butternut squash, peeled and diced into 1" chunks
    1 onion, peeled & diced
    1 clove of garlic, minced
    1 tbsp. butter
    3 1/2 cups chicken broth plus the meat from a roasted chicken
        (boil carcass to remove the bones from the meat, skim the fat)
    1/2 tsp dried thyme leaves
    1/2 tsp dried basil leaves
    1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
    Sea salt to taste

    Put water and beans into a dutch oven or crock pot, heat to boiling, then turn off and let sit for an hour.  Turn heat back up and cook beans until soft, adding water as needed to ensure beans do not dry out.  Add onion, garlic, butternut squash, chicken broth and chicken, cook on medium for a couple of hours.  When vegetables are soft and soup is of a good consistency, add herbs, salt and pepper, and simmer on low for another hour or so.  Serve with hearty bread and cheese or cornmeal muffins.


    Soupe a la Reine
    Never a fan of turnips, I was in a weird mood when I decided to try this... Said to be the favorite of Marie Antoinette, this recipe is adapted from one used in the artist Claude Monet's kitchen at Giverny, and two other 19th century recipes which mentioned the use of almonds in the broth.  It is positively decadently delicious, and should be placed right up there among the necessary indulgences with brie, ripe strawberries, and darkest, richest chocolate.

    1 1/2 lbs. fresh turnips, washed, trimmed, and sliced
    1/2 stick (4 tbsp.) unsalted butter
    1 cup whole milk
    1 cup sour cream (or substitute additional 1 c. whole milk, 1 tbsp butter, and 1/4 c. potato flakes)
    1/2 cup almond milk (do not substitute soy milk, but skim milk or a bit of chicken broth would work)
    1 tbsp. unbleached flour
    Sea salt and pepper to taste

    Cook turnips on medium heat in as little water as possible (no more than 3 to 4 cups but enough so that the turnips do not stick or scorch) until soft enough to mash with a fork.  Puree the turnips (or mash completely), add butter and continue heating on medium-low heat until butter is melted through the mixture.  Add milk and cream, stirring slowly until thickened slightly; small bubbles may appear at edge of pot, but do not boil.  Add flour to almond milk, salt, and pepper, whisk until completely dissolved, and add to soup mixture.  Heat thoroughly on low simmer.  Serve hot with table water crackers, tea, and fruit.

    Thursday, October 21, 2010

    21 Things I Learned from Lorelai Gilmore


     Get the Complete Gilmore Girls Series at BN.com

    1. There are very few pains that cannot be cured with a liberal application of Rocky Road ice cream, eyeliner, and martinis.
    2. You can run from your troubles, but eventually you’ll run back. Otherwise you’ll never get over them.
    3. Laughter is the best medicine.
    4. Real love never ends.
    5. Good things only get better. Sometimes this happens when you’re not looking.
    6. Celebrate birthdays, weddings, and the life of your neighbor’s cat with the same warmth and enthusiasm.
    7. The first snowfall of the season is a living, breathing, sacred thing. No matter when it happens, go outside and greet it with effusive joy.
    8. Your first duty is to your children. Everything else can wait.
    9. Even weirdo freaks have souls.
    10. Coffee is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Beer runs a close second. Sorry, Ben.
    11. Say you’re sorry as soon as you can, and mean it.
    12. Wait. Time heals all wounds.
    13. Show up. Look smashing.
    14. Be yourself. No one else can pull it off.
    15. Appreciate everyone, including obnoxious picky French men, gossipy busybodies, aging drama queens, control freaks with bad toupees, and grouchy hermits. If nothing else they keep life interesting and amusing, and sometimes they are exactly the right person for something very special.
    16. Never underestimate the inexpressible importance of the perfect shoes, scarves, and handbags. Also, Hello Kitty. Pink sweaters with ruffles and flowers. Black mini skirts. Tulle. Skinny jeans. And pearls.
    17. Movie nights are for eating, philosophy and social commentary. In that order.
    18. Your first love will always be special. Your first real love even more so.
    19. There are a lot of amazing female role models. After you’ve followed their example for awhile, be one.
    20. Take others much more seriously than you take yourself.
    21. Read. Often, or not. There’s a lot to be learned from books. But if you don’t read, surround yourself with people who do. Some of that wisdom will rub off.

    Sunday, October 17, 2010

    Humility and a Secure Future

    Reading "God Never Blinks." Regina Brett has so much to offer to a world down on its luck, seemingly running out of time, with so much to worry about. With plans scattered like so many specks of dust to places invisible, it's much too easy to forget our basis for faith, and how to reach out and hold on to what has kept us going in the past. Taking one more step forward sometimes feels too damned hard, and hardly worth it. After all, why wake up to one more day of struggle? Isn't it better to just roll over and hit the snooze button? "Forget about life for awhile"?

    Why yes, actually. Sometimes that's exactly what we should do.



    Life of Agony reminds us exactly what it's like to be worn out and in dire need of escape, maybe with a bit more of an edge than Billy Joel did, but the message is the same. Sometimes we do need to just get it all out in order to forget how bad it all is. And that's okay. But after that, there's something else that's the spiritual and emotional equivalent of clearing the air so we can breathe again.

    It's called forgiveness.

    Ms. Brett has a bumper sticker that says, "God Bless the Whole World. No Exceptions." She goes on to tell us "Forgive Everybody Everything." I can vouch for the goodness in that. There is nothing anyone's done to me that's worth the spiritual and emotional turmoil of holding a grudge. Nobody's worth eating up my liver over. Nobody gets to be that powerful over me and my life, and as far as I know, nobody really wants to be.

    This is not to say nobody's mistreated me. Far from it. Like a lot of people, I'm one of the "walking wounded." But you know what? That just means I've learned a few things. It doesn't mean anyone owes me anything. That honor belongs to - you guessed it - just me.

    For about five minutes, it does me good to get angry and rant and spout out all the venom and bile that some peoples' actions incite. But after that, it's good to just put all that away and move on, looking around to see the good things that are still surrounding my world and reminding me that it's never too late to put down that burden and step forward into the light. In fact, if I don't, it's just going to get heavier and heavier the longer I forget to do so.

    "Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past. At first that sounds harsh, but once you let go of what you wanted the past to be, you can start changing the present and create a better future," Ms. Brett writes in Lesson 28. Well, duh. Why didn't I figure that out already? Sometimes we need people to point out the obvious, so we can clear the smudges from our eyes and actually see what we're looking at. You can't move beyond something, or stop being a victim, until you stop calling yourself a loser, and take back your own power over situations. Forgive, and then forget. Choose life, and remove yourself from that pain. Put it down. Let it go.

    Here's a gem of real value, and I'm putting it here where I'll remember to come back and read it from time to time:

    Humility is perpetual quietness of heart.
    It is to have no trouble.
    It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me.
    It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble.
    --Dr. Bob, co-founder of AA and the Twelve-Step Program


    Well then. Today is my lucky day. Yours, too! Go out there and forgive somebody. And then treat yourself to a big slice of that pie called Life. There's very little you can do that will more strongly ensure control of your own destiny. And what's more secure than that?

    Sunday, October 03, 2010

    Traveling Light


    I find myself sick of traveling, frankly. All I want to do now is curl up with a book, stare outside, look at the window, ponder a bit. Listen to loved ones, think about what they've said, listen some more. This is a major change from past propensities, which was to pick up and go at the merest wisp of a suggestion. Travel meant going beyond the place that I was, seeing new things as much as re-connecting with old ones.

    Reading this piece at Salon brought this home recently. This is a wonderful article, well-crafted and superbly worded, the author has the grasp of language that slips into your mind easily. The second-person point of view is difficult to do well, but she does it with single-minded aplomb, leaving no question of her genius. It is taken from a larger work, Stranger Things Happen: Stories, and when I saw this I stopped reading long enough to add to my "To Read" list at Goodreads. It was that good. She was speaking to me, I was sure, or at least someone who had shared my experiences - we were kindred and I followed her down the rabbit-hole with faith that was quite blind. I was expecting a swirling, satisfying finish, where all is right in the end.

    Silly me.

    As I wrote to my sister when I sent her the article, dear Ms. Link had it right at the outset, she took you along a steep, winding and bloody difficult path, but surely she stopped just short of where the journey really reached its final destination. She knows the fairy-tale path so well! How could she have missed the whole point?

    Read the article, mind you, before you travel further, or you're not going to believe me. You'll think I'm making this all up. And read this interview with Kelly Link by Laura Miller, Romance and Other Myths, which is right as rain throughout except for those needling little thrusts both of them make at the insanity that is "true love." Ms. Link and I share some similarities, we have both lived a "peripatetic life," but for pity's sake at some point we all have to settle down sometime. Maybe it's just the propensity of some people to joust at windmills, but it would be a sad world indeed for those of us who crave the warmth of quiet home fires to think that all this patient belief in love is all for naught. Phooey. Inside a voice whispers, "She missed the point."

    Yet I still want to read her work, if only just for the repeated satisfaction of re-discovering that this belief in love is really just belief in myself. She's right, of course - the too-hard, misbegotten journey where you press on until your feet are cut to ribbons from all the miss-steps you've made is a bit much. When you get to the end of that trial how do you even know you're there? You're too busy picking glass out of your feet and re-applying eyeliner, wetting your lips, rehearsing what you're going to say so he doesn't get the wrong idea, and trying to remember where you left the keys. It's all drama at that point, and who has the energy for that?

    So you clear the air and start over. Throw out the dirty dishes, add to the archaeological treasures in the backyard. Sweep up the shards from the broken mirror, apologize. Let a brief, beautiful memory or a shared glance make you smile. Back up, turn the wheel. Don't go down that path. Refresh your mind in shared laughter, challenge yourself to swallow pride over what was lost through ridiculous circumstances and look how simple things become once you've forgiven him. Forgiven yourself for being so blind and wicked.

    There are two, no three, other fictional heroines, very different and yet similar enough to make the comparison in this instance, because their epiphanies are more - shall we say, agreeable. Theirs are stories I can relate to, be satisfied with, because these women and men forgave, and forgot, and in so doing reaped the benefits of what I believe is a more fulfilled existence, because it is shared. I don't have words to say just why this is, but it's true. No man is an island. No woman, either. Jane went back to Rochester. Elizabeth married Darcy. Luke and Lorelai figured it out in spite of everything. I know of a few real-life couples who did this, too. Sara and Richard. Gwen and Gavin. Joan and Robin, whose story in An Unfinished Marriage is remarkably simple, which makes it all the more interesting and applicable.

    Truce. Because every day with your partner is practice for how you'll succeed in the real world, and how you treat those closest to you mirrors how you treat yourself.

    Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love never ends. Faith, hope, and love - these three, but the greatest of these is Love.


    Photobucket

    Monday, August 23, 2010

    Preserving Summer Harvest


    Chutney is a delectable, spicy preserve-like concoction that is made to be served with slowly-roasted beef, chicken, or pork but is also delicious embedded in an omelet or folded into a piquant casserole. Best when the freshest ingredients are used at the height of their summer goodness, it takes time and patience to chop, peel, skin, and dice all the fruits and vegetables that go into it, but when savoring your own prudent industry over a leisurely wintry meal, there’s simply nothing better to recall to mind the warmth and goodness of long summer days.

    Last August 23rd, dear husband and I managed to put up a very good batch of Peach Chutney that we adapted from a recipe in Linda Ferrari’s classic Canning and Preserving, and I took pictures intending to share the results with folks here at the blog. The local peaches and the peppers from the garden were especially plentiful - and juicy - last year. However, real life being what it is, I never got around to making the blog post. Some people may wonder why I’m bothering to do it now, but I’m of the mind that it really is never too late to recall and make a note of good things like this. Jason & I used to make Chutney a lot; in fact, one of our family jokes was to make this very British preparation in early July, and tongue-in-cheek to call it “Fourth of July Chutney,” ‘cause we’re awesome like that. But I digress.

    Being in the kitchen is one of my favorite memories of life with this man, who is much more at home around the stove & countertop than I am. While at times it may have been a little awkward as we worked around each others’ idiosyncrasies (random grumbles and mutual harrumphs notwithstanding), as I look back over the years I feel a warmth rise in my chest remembering the way his hands moved, assuredly and with the skill of long practice, and the delectable meals he’s prepared. So - here ‘tis, a year late, but still kind of wonderful – and I’m not just talking about the tangible results. There’s something magical about working together and producing something fine that goes beyond the immediate; it’s a shared experience that underscores the importance of living in the moment while affirming that even when it’s a bit of a challenge, the future is an opportunity worth preserving. Try it with someone you love.


    Peach Chutney

    7 lbs. fresh peaches, blanched, skinned and chopped
    1 large onion, minced
    1 c. dried currants
    Zest and juice of 1 lemon
    1 large gingerroot, peeled and finely chopped
    Several red, green, and yellow peppers, sliced, seeds removed, and minced
    2 c. cider vinegar
    2 c. brown sugar
    ½ c. granulated organic cane sugar
    1 tsp. ground peppercorns
    2 tsp. ground cinnamon
    1 tsp. whole cloves
    ½ tsp. ground mace
    ¾ tsp. ground allspice

    Prepare fruit and vegetables carefully. Blend vinegar, sugars, lemon juice, zest, ginger root, and spices in a large heavy pot placed on the stove. Add peaches, onion, currants, and peppers. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until slow boil is reached. Lower heat and simmer until thickened to correct consistency.

    Ladle into hot, prepared jars, seal, and process for 10 minutes in a water bath. Cool for several hours or overnight and check for complete sealing of jars.

    Makes approximately 7-8 pints. Store in a cool, dark place.


    Sunday, September 13, 2009

    Carry On

    “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely...” --Emerson