your experiences are not universal

Recently I became involved with someone born between 1946 and 1957; aka, a Baby Boomer.

I know, I know. All the good times have probably already happened, and reality is setting in.

This person didn't seem to be opinionated and stilted in his thinking. He claims to vote on the left side of liberal. He cooks. Has animals. A sense of humor. Appears to get along well with others.

I'm thinking this is as far as it goes, though. Barely two months in, and he's telling me the way I should do things. Criticizes my plans. Belittles the marriage for which I'm just over eighteen months widowed, says he "doesn't think it was a real marriage."

There. I think I have my answer.

Here's a clue for anyone who might not understand what is wrong with this picture: if you want to have a future with someone, don't do battle with a dead husband. You will lose. Be the bigger person, and allow that your love life was not the first, or it most decidedly will not be the last. Understand that your past experiences have shaped your opinions and vision, just as mine have.

We are not the same. And in most cases, that is a very, very good thing.

I don't want this to devolve into another bashing of *that* generation. But it is hard not to: I have a really hard time relating to anyone born prior to 1964. (The actress Betty White is a notable exception. That lady is just joyful all the time, about everything, and how can you not love her? In contrast, how many other joyful Silent Generationers or Baby Boomers can you name?)  These folk not only are situationally surly and obtuse; they just have no idea; another friend pointed out, quite astutely, that most of them are emotionally stunted; they didn't learn anything from their experiences and have no idea that their world was as blighted and stupid as it was. They think, above all, that they know better than you. They really have no basis for their untoward, unwelcome, and unenlightened opinions but they are damn well going to bless you with them and you should be grateful for their experience.

Um. No thanks, actually.

I think I'd rather watch the sunset, while I can still see it.

Image credit: Abingdon Outdoors